Okay, so we have ALL done it – Something stupid under the influence of alcohol. Of course, the degree of stupidity ranges from a silly comment you wouldn’t soberly come up with, a text to someone you know you shouldn’t, agreeing with an idea that sober you would frown upon, and of course goes all the way to calling your ex at 4am, slurring about why things ended the way they did.
While under the influence, all of these things make perfect sense to you in the moment, and you sometimes even convince yourself that when you sober up in the morning you will totally be in the same mindset, because your drunken self has come up with the most amazing justifications.
When we wake up from a great sleep,we have those bliss few seconds of not remembering anything. Then, memory sparks in your brain, and you go through the night at a hundred miles an hour, to end up on the ‘oops’. Heart racing, you reach into your mind to remember WHY you did it. What were those amazing justifications again?
First the denial – did I really do it? A quick check of your phone confirms it. Fuck.
Second, the justification – But it’s what I wanted, isn’t it? The heightened pulse suggests otherwise.
Thirdly, the consequence – what now?! Hot flushes take over as you try to figure out your next move.
In situations like this, you have two choices – to deny it ever happened, come up with reasons why, ‘(Oh my word! I had SO much to drink last night, I have all of these texts but I don’t remember ANYTHING after dinner.. Sorry if I pocket dialed you or something….”), or to accept responsibility for your actions and deal with the issues that are underneath the action.
It’s so much easier to deny it and act as if it never happened, but is this the right, honest thing to do? Probably not. Chances are, this will continue to backlash and bug you, not to mention the awkwardness of seeing the person/people involved if you haven’t spoken about it. I know I’ve been through this before! Let me tell you, it is NOT fun.
The biggest issue here is that there was obviously a REASON you did what you did, which is why it is so important to acknowledge the underlying issues of the action. Alcohol is not an excuse for anything, and it shouldn’t be blamed for your own thought out actions. But it does strip a few layers of filters off, which is why texting your ex or talking to the cute but creepy guy at the bar suddenly seems like a great idea.
Scientifically, alcohol does dull your ‘dumb idea’ sensors, disabling the full capability of your warning system that usually says, “Hey, bro, dumb idea”, but in the end you do still have the opportunity and capability of deciding to do, or not to do, which is why I suggest looking at the issues below it all.
Got into an argument with a friend or partner? What was it that made you upset, and why? Were you perhaps already subconsciously upset with them about something unrelated?
Texted or called your ex, or someone you had feelings for? Take a minute and figure out how you ended up there. Were you thinking about them? Did someone mention their name? What was your thought process – what did you hope to get out of the conversation… Is there a possibility you may still have feelings for that person?
Flirted with someone you soberly don’t like/don’t want to be with? The fact that you flirted with them does signalize there was definitely some interest there. Alcohol does also give you ‘beer goggles’, but there is always an underlying attraction. What is the reason you don’t want to be with that person in ‘real life’? Is it YOU, or is it what others might think?
Whatever the situation, it is so important to be honest with yourself. We have two images – our real one, that only we (and possibly a select few people) know, and the image we present to the public. Be honest with your real self about what happened and why, otherwise growth is impossible.
Th best thing to do, in my humble opinion, is to own up to it. Contact the person, as they are probably as confused as you are. Friend, ex, boyfriend, whatever – discussing what happened will always make things more clear, and will prevent each party from stewing about it and coming up with conclusions that are far from the truth.
The biggest lesson is prevention – Next time you are out, take steps to ensure you don’t wake up with that sinking feeling again the next morning. Before you go out, tell your friends if they see you talking to cute but creepy guy, to take you away and remind you of the reasons why you don’t want to go there. An ex, or old flame? If you really don’t want to be in contact, try deleting their number from your phone (if you only want it to be temporary, write it on a piece of paper) when you are out, or changing the name to DO NOT CALL! This will remind you WHY you made the choices you did.
No matter how embarrassed or upset you may feel the next day, remember that we are all human – we ALL make mistakes. 99.9% of the time, the other person also has made a drunken mistake. Don’t make a big deal out of it if it isn’t one, but if it is, own up and take responsibility. You will thank yourself for it in the long run, and your personal growth will receive major kudos if you work out the underlying reasons behind your actions.
Other drunken mistakes often include spending money you don’t have, late night eating or binge eating because you just don’t currrr, becoming friends with someone you don’t actually like , crying, or updating your Facebook status 20 times in an hour, (“OMG! YOLO! BEST NIGHT EVERR! SHOTTSS! YEAH BITCHES!!!! HAWT!!) and many more. Are you guilty of any of these? I know I am!
The best part?? In a years time, it will make one hell of a story to laugh about!